Last night as I was lying in bed to go to sleep I kept thinking of things I could write in a post here. I also thought of Jimmy talking about when an author came to the school recently he told the kids that if they want to be writers they should keep a notebook with them to write down the ideas they get. I kind of wished I had a notebook last night to jot down the thoughts that were running through my mind. Mostly because I do that a lot. I will think of things and ways to write them on my blog but by the time I actually sit down to write it I can't quite remember how I thought of it and it's never as good as it was in my mind. Basically this is a little disclaimer to let you know that what I'm writing in this post isn't as good as it was when it ran through my mind last night. Apparently it doesn't stop me from writing it though.
I have a friend on facebook whose oldest daughter has Tetralogy of Fallot, a chd. She is scheduled for surgery to replace a valve (I believe) in a little less than a month and is quite nervous and scared about it. As I have been reading about this family and their experiences in preparing for the surgery, I can't help but wonder what it will be like further down the road when Dylan is old enough to know what is going on and will need surgery. I would imagine it will be much the same. I can honestly say it's not something I'm looking forward to experiencing.
I think of the age of this girl. She's 10. I remember how when I was 9 I had an appendectomy at Primary Children's. Yes, I know an appendectomy is nothing compared to heart surgery. I'm not even trying to compare the two. I'm just remembering how I felt going into it and realize that there are good things about going into surgery that quickly. None of us really had the time to really think about what was happening. We didn't know weeks ahead of time that this would happen. Of course my dad had recently had an appendectomy and I remembered his. I think that scared me more than anything. Granted, his was worse than mine.
I remember waking up right after the surgery. I was curious and wanted to see the area where they had done the incision. Just wanted to see how it was bandaged and such, but I think I scared the nurse who was close by. She saw me kind of sit up and start to move things to look and stopped me. I think she was afraid I would try to pull everything off. I wouldn't have. I just wanted to look. I must have still been quite groggy from the anesthesia because really the next thing I remember is being wheeled through the halls to my room and my family in the hall with smiles greeting me. And especially the big grocery bag with candy for me.
That grocery bag of candy actually ended up almost tormenting me in the hospital. It was kept by the side of my bed where I could easily look and see into it and look at the different kinds of candy bars and things. At the time I was on a liquid diet. Which was not fun for someone who really does not like tomato soup.
My mom will tell me how she felt bad for me. I would complain that I was hurting but after the first time I told the nurse that yes, I was hurting, I refused to admit it to her again. I expected pills or medicine to drink. Didn't expect the shot she gave me in my thigh. I don't remember the pain. Really only remember hurting that first time when I got the shot for the pain. And even then I only remember that I had been hurting but don't remember feeling pain.
I'm sure Dylan and this girl will remember that they felt pain after their surgeries as they get older. But I wonder if they will be like I was and have no memory of the pain. I'd like to think so.
One thing I always think of when I think of the short time I spent in the hospital following my appendectomy is of my roommate there. I believe her name was Matilda. Or something close to that. She was friendly and always seemed very positive to me. She was also paralyzed. I remember her parents chatting with mine and saying that the doctors told them she would never walk again, but how they knew that some day she would. Sometimes I think of her. I wonder how she is doing now and if her parents were right in their faith that she would walk again. At the heart mom luncheon I mentioned in my last post, Paul Cardall said to never stop fighting or believing for your children. Even if the doctors say something is impossible. Because the things that are possible today were impossible yesterday.
Funny how thinking of someone having surgery soon will lead to thoughts of someone I knew for just a couple of days.
As a parent who has had two children have surgery (one minor, one major), I can understand what my parents went through when I had my surgery. I'm hoping that having been through surgery as a child, I will be able to understand at least in some small way what my children go through when they have theirs.